When reading "A Grief Observed" one of the things that really struck me was the way C.S. Lewis compared his faith to a house of cards. He made the following statements:

"From the rational point of view what grounds has Helen's death given me for doubting all that I believe? Should it, for a sane man, make quite such a difference as this? No. And it wouldn't for a man whose faith had been real faith. The case is too plain. If my house has collapsed at one blow it is because it was a house of cards. Indeed, it's likely enough that what I shall call, if it happens, a 'restoration of faith', will turn out to be only one more house of cards."

As a man of faith, due to being so angry and at times overcome by his grief, he began to question whether his faith was faith at all or was it all his "imagination".  Had he just tricked himself into thinking he believed or was it actually real because during his grief  his faith seemed to be missing in action.  He later makes the statement

"..God has not been trying to experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down."

This statement alone would make someone reflect on the faith that they believe they possess. Alot of times in life we have faith in God in the great times, the good times, and in the so-so times. But what about the times where it seems that your prayers are not going through, or a loved on is sick, or everything around you seems to be crumbling. As believers we have the faith to sustain us in the best of times but alot of the times it's like standing on sinking sand if the pendulum is swinging in the other direction. But regardless God already knows.

This book is like a fresh does of reality - kind of like that nasty medicine that your mom would try to get you to take as a child. This type of literature makes you reflect on various aspects of your life but it is also in your face. It challenges what you think you hold true.

Reading this book makes me think about the nature if God - that I have encountered for myself but many others may not know. You see in my time on this earth I have had a great deal of things come up and when I approached the door of God...no answer.  The silence of God at times stung like being snapped on the leg with a wet rag but it was necessary. Sometimes growth comes in silence -- because in due season the answer (revelation) will come in some cases but then again sometimes not at all.

I enjoy "A Grief Observed" because of the reality of the words -- this is someone's pain (in its rawest) form, not a facade. That is what a lot of believers need to know -- walking with Christ is not a cake walk. It's not sugar and spice and all that's nice - it's tears, trials and tribulation. But in the end it is all for the Glory of the One who created it all.

 

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history 
With your bitter, twisted lies, 
You may trod me in the very dirt 
But still, like dust, I'll rise. 

Does my sassiness upset you? 
Why are you beset with gloom? 
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells 
Pumping in my living room. 

Just like moons and like suns, 
With the certainty of tides, 
Just like hopes springing high, 
Still I'll rise. 

Did you want to see me broken? 
Bowed head and lowered eyes? 
Shoulders falling down like teardrops. 
Weakened by my soulful cries. 

Does my haughtiness offend you? 
Don't you take it awful hard 
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines 
Diggin' in my own back yard. 

You may shoot me with your words, 
You may cut me with your eyes, 
You may kill me with your hatefulness, 
But still, like air, I'll rise. 

Does my sexiness upset you? 
Does it come as a surprise 
That I dance like I've got diamonds 
At the meeting of my thighs? 

Out of the huts of history's shame 
I rise 
Up from a past that's rooted in pain 
I rise 
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, 
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. 
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear 
I rise 
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear 
I rise 
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, 
I am the dream and the hope of the slave. 
I rise 
I rise 
I rise

I really enjoyed the "field trip" to Tuscana Ristorante, it's was a break from the norm and the environment, to me personally, was quite conducive for unrestricted literary discussions. I had a great time talking to Danielle, Faith, and Katelyn about their literature tastes and found that Faith and I shared a common interest. That day I opted to being poems by Maya Angelou (Still I Rise and Phenomenal Woman) and we both really admire her work.

"Still I Rise" has been one of the literary poetic works that I have admired for quite sometime.   Maya Angelou has the type of voice that commands the attention of the audience so much so that it is almost magical. It goes in depth in very little words, you can feel the power behind the words of this poem. She makes the statement, "You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt, But still, like dust, I'll rise. The reader is left to read it with their own interpretation, because everyone has a point in their life where they had to "rise" from difficult circumstances. Whether it is from personal failure or something that was caused by other external circumstances.

For me it was the verse "Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave." As an African-American, I can really identify with this line because my great-great grandfathers on both sides of my family were slaves. And I am only the second generation on my mother's side of the family to attend college. So this poem really resonates as somewhat of a personal reflection for me. When you think about that era many think that it was so long ago but it wasn't. I am proud to be the living and breathing hope of those who have gone before me.

In sharing this literature, and how it is important to you personally, you are allowing to people to see a part of the "real you" (how you think, what moves you, and motivates you). It's like taking off a mask and showing who you really are and what makes you tick and regardless of what it is you are more appreciated for your tastes.

Happy Endings

When I read, and listened to Happy Endings out loud, of course it seems a little......peculiar. Of course there is only one story with a happy ending and that was "A".  Ironically enough, it today's society you do not hear a lot about the "A" stories but you are bombarded by the B,C,D,E and F stories.

That's almost the story of the world today....isn't t? You rarely hear of the great couples who fall in love, marry, and die without all the drama because that in essence is "too boring". But just one flip of the switch on a remote control and your eyes and ears become over indulged with the stories of adultery, trysts, murder-suicides, etc because that is what sells. 

I am pretty sure more often than not that there are many instances of a "Happy Ending" in this world. This part of the story puts me in the mind of another piece that we read in class "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love". If you recall in that story Mel was telling a story about an old couple who got hit by a drunk driver and were in really bad shape but managed to pull through evasive surgeries to save their lives. Then he proceeds to talk about how they went from critical to being in their own room but that still was not satisfactory to the husband and that he fell into a deep depression (even knowing his wife would survive). He revealed the reason of the husband being in that state because "he couldn't see her through his eye holes". Mel seemed floored by the fact as he states that "the man's heart was breaking because...he couldn't turn his (gd) head to see his (gd) wife".  I honestly think that this is what kept that couple living for each other. Regardless of death at least you know that you knew the feeling of being happy and in love in your natural life. That is the true power behind a "Happy Ending".......enduring love. 

I am not one to avoid the realities of this world that we live in but sometimes I need to detox from  all the junk that is out there and know that DRAMA is not all there is to this life.

"What We Talk About When We Talk About Love"

When reading this story there were some sentimental moments, funny moments, some sad moments, and some moments that made you think. Reading this piece showed love at many different scales from the "honeymoon love" to the destruction of love and every aspect in between. This story is really good at making a challenging the mind on what a person really thinks love is.

Laura and Nick are still in that "honeymoon" phase of love where everything is roses and sunshine. Their love is seemingly "new" and everything is okay. Their romance still lingers and their sentimental gestures are still evident from the kiss on the hand and Nick placing his hand on her thigh.They respect one another's opinions - evident in them looking to each other for opinions when prompted by questions or comments from Mel and/or Terri.


Terri, Mel's wife, had been in a relationship prior to Mel that subjected her to mental, physical, and emotional abuse, but through that she still had the sense that the man (Ed) love her. Mel made the comment that Terri was "of the kick-me-so-I'll-know-you-love-me-school". You can tell that Mel and Terri had been round and round on this subject before because of the sarcasm that was exchanged between the two. When thinking about it the abuse inflicted by Ed could, to him, have been his way of showing that he loved Terri. Maybe that was the way things were done in his home growing up and his mother accepted the treatment so that was the way he equivocated his reflection of love. Mel on the other hand, most likely, could not see himself treating Terri in that manner because he saw a different display of love as he was growing up. What may be a display of love to one person may not be the way another expresses it......it is not universal. He has an utter disdain for Terri's ex and cannot understand why she continually defines that relationship as love.

Terri and Mel's love display is what I would call a "flaws and all" type of love. They have keep no secrets from each other about their past, heck they even ran like "fugitives" from Terri's ex together. They put all of their cards on the table and the chips fall where they may. Oddly enough, though Mel is not beating her like Ed did he does seem to have an issue with truly respecting her. He cuts her off when she speaks, belittles her opinion, and even tells her to shut up on occasion. Though this is the case Terri considers this as an acceptable type of love - evident because they are married. Though he carries some traits as Ed (drinking and verbal outbursts) it is not as extreme and more manageable to Terri. It makes one wonder what makes her attract these types of men.


Ironically enough all of these types of love are evident in the world today both inside and outside of our great nation. Especially the ones where women are ruled with seemingly and iron fist and an open hand. Though it is not always women who are being abused, they seem to be the vast majority.


I think the interpretation of the text is that not all love is shown the way one would think that it should be shown. Some people interpret love in different ways - some with slap, others with sarcastic exchanges, others with a kiss on the hand or a caressing of the thigh. It really depends on the person. Who are we to say what "LOVE" looks like because it looks different to different people.

Early Literary Influences

The early literary influences that I can remember in my life were the Dr. Seuss books (Green Eggs & Ham, Cat in the Hat) and Aesop's Fables. When I was a child I loved to read because it was an escape for me. I would get lost in the books and let my imagination run free. I pretended to be a character in the book so it made reading an adventure. I thumbed through the pages reading day after day and would be easily consumed by the words, so much so that I would finish the book in a few days' time. When I would ready the Dr. Seuss I would be so amused at the rhyming of the book and would find myself laughing as I read. Aesop's Fables there was a lesson to be learned from the story and depending on the reader and the number of times the story was read, the lesson could be different.

Other books I enjoyed reading when I was younger were the Little Golden Books (I really liked the uniformity of the collection - all of them had that gold book spine), Judy Blume (Superfudge and Ramona), R.L. Stein (Goosebumps), Francine Pascal (Sweet Valley High)...the list could go on and on. Just thinking about now takes me back and my heart skips a beat just thinking about the time I spent in the pages of the stories.

As an adult the book that I read that has had more of a recent impact on my life is Right People, Right Place, Right Plan by Jentezen Franklin, Senior Pastor - Free Chapel in Gainesville, GA and Orange County, CA and my personal pastor and spiritual covering. I thoroughly enjoyed this book because it talks about allowing God to show you, speak to you, and align you with your destiny. It really made me think about alot of the aspects and things in my life that I had not 100% allowed to be under God's control and this book helps you to let go and truly allow God to be God.