When reading this story there were some sentimental moments, funny moments, some sad moments, and some moments that made you think. Reading this piece showed love at many different scales from the "honeymoon love" to the destruction of love and every aspect in between. This story is really good at making a challenging the mind on what a person really thinks love is.
Laura and Nick are still in that "honeymoon" phase of love where everything is roses and sunshine. Their love is seemingly "new" and everything is okay. Their romance still lingers and their sentimental gestures are still evident from the kiss on the hand and Nick placing his hand on her thigh.They respect one another's opinions - evident in them looking to each other for opinions when prompted by questions or comments from Mel and/or Terri.
Terri, Mel's wife, had been in a relationship prior to Mel that subjected her to mental, physical, and emotional abuse, but through that she still had the sense that the man (Ed) love her. Mel made the comment that Terri was "of the kick-me-so-I'll-know-you-love-me-school". You can tell that Mel and Terri had been round and round on this subject before because of the sarcasm that was exchanged between the two. When thinking about it the abuse inflicted by Ed could, to him, have been his way of showing that he loved Terri. Maybe that was the way things were done in his home growing up and his mother accepted the treatment so that was the way he equivocated his reflection of love. Mel on the other hand, most likely, could not see himself treating Terri in that manner because he saw a different display of love as he was growing up. What may be a display of love to one person may not be the way another expresses it......it is not universal. He has an utter disdain for Terri's ex and cannot understand why she continually defines that relationship as love.
Terri and Mel's love display is what I would call a "flaws and all" type of love. They have keep no secrets from each other about their past, heck they even ran like "fugitives" from Terri's ex together. They put all of their cards on the table and the chips fall where they may. Oddly enough, though Mel is not beating her like Ed did he does seem to have an issue with truly respecting her. He cuts her off when she speaks, belittles her opinion, and even tells her to shut up on occasion. Though this is the case Terri considers this as an acceptable type of love - evident because they are married. Though he carries some traits as Ed (drinking and verbal outbursts) it is not as extreme and more manageable to Terri. It makes one wonder what makes her attract these types of men.
Ironically enough all of these types of love are evident in the world today both inside and outside of our great nation. Especially the ones where women are ruled with seemingly and iron fist and an open hand. Though it is not always women who are being abused, they seem to be the vast majority.
I think the interpretation of the text is that not all love is shown the way one would think that it should be shown. Some people interpret love in different ways - some with slap, others with sarcastic exchanges, others with a kiss on the hand or a caressing of the thigh. It really depends on the person. Who are we to say what "LOVE" looks like because it looks different to different people.
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ReplyDeleteI know that different people display love and interpret love in different ways. I know that how people are treated in past experiences shape how they view love. However, one aspect of true love involves seeking to fulfill the needs and wants of the other person emotionally,physically, and mentally. Was Ed fulfilling Terri's physical needs by hitting her? Was he fulfilling her mental and emotional needs by saying he loved her even as his actions seemed to counteract his words? No, he didn't. I think Ed loved Terri and I think Terri
ReplyDeletehonestly believed him. But Ed was not fulfilling Terri's physical, emotional, and mental needs and therefore he was not properly expressing love to her.
I concur but to Ed (in his own twisted way) that may be the only way he knew how to show love. Yet and still it was Terri who remained continually in that situation until Mel came along because she felt like it was love. Now don't get me wrong the way that Terri allowed Ed to show his love is something that we would never put up with but in her mind his love was genuine. This is that area where Professor Corrigan was referring to judgement and self reflection. We can judge the situation as wrong because it is wrong and from the self reflection portion we know that this is something that we will no tolerate and continue to stay around for any length of time but judging what Terri considered to be love is robbing her of her own opinion and feelings.
ReplyDeleteIt is easy to look at a situation from the outside and say what you would and would not do but you also have to consider the thought processes of the people on the inside and why they stay. Sometimes it is fear, sometimes ignorance, and sometimes tradition, or in the really off the wall situations it can be something that they get a kick out of.